New Delhi, Jul 25 : RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat has said that youth need emotional support rather than criticism when they fail and has asserted that values cannot be imposed through lectures but are absorbed by observing the conduct of parents and elders.
“Today’s terminology speaks of IQ and EQ. Emotional intelligence is what really matters. Intelligence alone is not enough. We have all seen brilliant people who fail in life because they cannot cope with setbacks,” Bhagwat said.
He also urged parents to lead by example in dealing with the influence of social media, saying children imitate what they see at home and develop their character by observing elders.
Addressing a question-and-answer session after his lecture on Yuganukul Matrutva (Contemporary Motherhood) at an event organised by Vishwamangalya Sabha here on Friday, Bhagwat said parents should focus on nurturing character during the early years and gradually give children greater freedom as they grow.
“Values cannot be imposed. They are absorbed naturally by observing the conduct of elders. They are not accepted merely because someone says, ‘This is good, so do it.’ They become part of one’s character only through observation and practice,” he said.
Referring to the traditional Indian approach to parenting, Bhagwat said, “Our elders used to say that until the age of five, children should be treated like little kings and queens; between the ages of five and sixteen, they should be disciplined appropriately; after sixteen, they should be treated like friends. This is because, by that stage, youngsters have developed the ability to understand and think independently.”
He said emotional intelligence is more important than intellectual ability in overcoming setbacks. Children should be reassured instead of being made to feel guilty when they fail.
“If a child fails in an examination, the child already knows that he or she has failed. There is no need to keep repeating it. Instead, the child should feel that someone stands with them. Parents should say, ‘Don’t worry. We are with you. Next time, you will succeed. Let us see what needs to be done.’ That is what children need,” he said.
Bhagwat said youth must be encouraged to rise again after failure.
“Every child should be taught that even if you fall, you must get up and move forward. That confidence should come from the family. If families provide such support, children will naturally become strong and capable,” he said.
Responding to a question on how parents can protect children from the adverse effects of social media and remain emotionally connected with them, Bhagwat said mothers, in particular, possessed a natural ability to build emotional bonds.
“The only thing required is to keep communication alive. Through constant dialogue, parents come to understand the minds of their children.
“Children should feel so closely connected that they can speak to their parents without reservation,” he said.
Referring to the growing influence of social media, Bhagwat said its harmful effects are visible in society but stressed that not everyone succumbed to it.
“But we also see that some people remain unaffected by it. It is not true that everyone gets swept away. Many do, but there are also those who consciously stop consuming such content. They reduce their use of social media,” he said.
He said parents need to understand why some youngsters remain unaffected while others are led astray.
“The difference lies in a person’s disposition. As I mentioned earlier, that disposition is formed during the first stages of life through the influence of elders at home and by observing and imitating them,” Bhagwat said.
He said children should not be exposed indiscriminately to harmful content, asserting that even adults are often influenced by what they consume.
“Today, films often carry the label ‘For Adults Only.’ That does not mean the content is bad for children but good for adults… In reality, even adults are often influenced by it… Therefore, we must develop this ability in them to discern,” he said.
He urged parents to set an example through their own conduct.
“If you do not want your children to watch such content or listen to abusive language, then you should not watch it or listen to it either. After all, what do we lose by avoiding it?
“Children imitate what they see. If we adopt the right way of living, they will naturally follow it, and gradually it will become part of their character,” Bhagwat said.
